notice the nice LA smog at the top of the trees. Yum!
Monday, May 31, 2010
The Haze That Is Lives in LA...
notice the nice LA smog at the top of the trees. Yum!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Santa Monica Cadillac Dealer
up onto the roof of their office building
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Parking Isn't That Bad....
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Street Cleaning? What!?!
Upon moving to LA, I was surprised to find out that the city cleans the streets every single week. On Wednesday mornings one side of the street gets cleaned, and the next day (Thursday) the other side of the street gets cleaned. What does that have to do with anything? It means that while you're scrambling to find a parking spot, you need to read signs that say "Wednesday/Thursday Street Cleaning".
The punishment for parking on the wrong side of the street on a street cleaning day? A swift $65 ticket. Ouch!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Kentucky Derby 2010: The Dawn of "Turkey TV"
On Saturday, May 1st, Turkey TV debuted with a live broadcast from Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky.
Founded by professional hotspot security guru Neil W. Jarboe, Lockheed Martin head man Tony Macias, and rookie producer Mike Krass, Turkey TV's mantra revolves around delivering content previously unavailable to the viewing public.
Turkey TV's creators. From Left to Right: Neil "Obi Wan Kanobi" Jarboe, Mike "Luke Sykwalker" Krass, and Tony "Lando Callirisimo" Macias (cuz let's be real, Tony's got the moves to back up the name)
"You won't see tired reruns of 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids' on Turkey TV," said producer Mike Krass in a public media address at Kentucky's famed Covington International Airport. "The viewing public will instead be exposed to worlds unknown to them. Imagine discovery channel's Planet Earth, but not anything like that at all."
With that in mind, Turkey TV's talented young team prepared their gear for Derby weekend. Equipment included an Olympus digital camera, half gallon of Jim Beam's famous Kentucky Bourbon, and numerous sets of water moccasins from Big Lots!
"You can never underestimate the value of bringing the right gear," said Kentucky native and Derby veteran Neil Jarboe. "One year, the hooligans in the infield tipped over all the portable toilets and began fighting in the midst of the muck. Can you believe that? A poop fight!"
For those of you unfamiliar with the Kentucky Derby, it is essentially the most American event around: 100,000 people descend upon Churchill Downs with copious amounts of Bourbon, over sized hats, and all the most honorable intentions to lose their first (and hell, probably their second) mortgage on a 50-to-1 horse (eat your heart out mind that bird!)
The first picture I took entering the Derby. Hot damn -- pure
Americana!!
To get coverage that no other station could produce, Turkey TV's producer flew a red eye from Spokane, WA, to Cincinatti, OH. Landing at 7:15 a.m., Krass immediately got to work at Covington Airport's world renowned Mike & Erma's Pub, gathering insider Derby tips from dog-racing expert Claire Hallows and discovering the true values the Derby is founded on from Ron Black, Cincinnati native and current Guinness Book of Records holder for most screwdrivers drank between the hours of 8 am - 9 am (which rests at 7 not counting the 2 he guzzled from 9:00-9:09 before his 9:20 flight).
"You think I wanted to drink all those beers and talk shop with the least honorable, most likely to die of Cirrhosis of the liver Derby experts around?!" Krass demanded. "I'm hustling man, trying to produce the best content for Turkey TV. I'm chasing down leads like Rosie O'Donnell does funyuns that have fallen between the couch cushions."
As Krass was flying to Cincinnati, Macias & Jarboe got to work early the night before at Lexington's famed 2 Keys Tavern. When you find out what they did, please forward that information to Turkey TV via e-mail at: whatthehellhappenedtojarboe&macias@turkey.tv
Mike Krass, officially chasing down more leads than Rosie does popcorn in and outside the microwave
Rising at the crack of 9 am to retrieve their keys and dignity from the tavern, Macias & Jarboe hopped in the official Mitsubishi Ninja news truck and headed to Covington to pick up their producer. Upon retrieving a slightly inebriated Krass, they headed to their most promising lead of the day in Taylorsville, Kentucky.
Bill Jarboe, long known for his days as Alex Trebek's personal algebra tutor, gave this Derby tip to Turkey TV in a live interview.
"Don't think -- Just throw money at things: horse bets, whiskey vendors, women in pretty hats. You can't lose if you can see straight."
Turkey TV with the infamous Bill Jarboe
After departing from Taylorsville, Turkey TV headed to L.A. (Louisville Area) and decided it would be a good idea to do the following (keep the 5th amendment in mind):
1. Purchase a case of beer through a drive through window from a nice Asian gentlemen named Carl.
2. Race to finish all the beers in the case.
3. Go to O'Shea's East (from the same creator of O'Shea's in Las Vegas), drink Bourbon(s), and potentially offend as many people as possible.
4. Continue the all-out media blitz and, with live footage, catch a gentlemen in the act of indecent exposure. This act will be punishable by pizza to the face.
5. Facilitate the fight against deadly cancer(s) by offering medical counseling on a 24-hour basis.
Needless to say, it was quite the productive night for the news team. Needing all the rest they could muster, Turkey TV decided to go to bed early and rise early in the morning for the Derby.
Saturday morning arrived fast and hard, and Turkey TV had one mission: to be the best damn TV station at Derby.
Since only Kentucky native Neil Jarboe knew anything about horse racing, Turkey TV decided it would be wise to go to an underground gambling den (complete with secret code knock entrance and smokey atmosphere) to view OCD-gamblers in the natural environment.
There were TV's everywhere, but no furniture for the occupants to sit on. The smoke was thick, and beer coozies littered the floor like dirt in a garden.
A live shot of the underground gambling den.
Turkey TV instantly regretted the decision to visit such an establishment and left for the race track.
It was sink or swim time. Turkey TV arrived at Derby and promptly walked through the front gate -- media credentials leading the way. First stop? A trip to grab a mint julip, as the team was quite parched from a lack of liquid substance.
Next, it's time to get to work: Turkey TV's committment to first-rate media coverage started with this man.
Jarboe: Who's your pick to win?
Guy: Which dogs are running in the race today?
Jarboe: Outta my face!
What most people don't realize is that aside from the horse races, the Derby infield is filled with Olympic-caliber sporting events.
We attempted to contact these members of the Kentucky National Wrestling Federation Club Team:
Jarboe: Whose your pick to win?
Gross people fighting in mud: Super Saver!
Jarboe: Yeah right what do you know..."
(at this point, the news team took out a third mortgage on a house Neil doesn't own/rent/even live in and put the money of Homeboykris, a 23:1 horse)
After, Turkey TV attempted to get a hold of members of the "Let's Run Across the Top of the PortaPotties and pretend we're doing hurdles team", but the news team could not stop laughing and they were busy getting arrested by the police as they made it to the end of the track.
Turkey TV did, however, use a lot of their 4th mortgage money they took out that weekend to purchase exclusive rights to this picture, which is a depiction of the aforementioned toilet runners.
Finally, the team decided that in the spirit of the Derby, they should participate in the fried turkey leg jousting events in the infield.
Tony squares up on Neil before he smacks fried turkey leg against his face.
All in all, a productive weekend was had. On Sunday (the day after the Derby), Turkey TV was bought out by NBC Universal to the tune of 37 million greek drokbas, or the equivalent of $39 US.
They took the money, bought a trio of fried turkey legs and bourbon-cokes, and went to the Bellevista Casino & Resort in Indiana and haven't been seen since.
Founded by professional hotspot security guru Neil W. Jarboe, Lockheed Martin head man Tony Macias, and rookie producer Mike Krass, Turkey TV's mantra revolves around delivering content previously unavailable to the viewing public.
Turkey TV's creators. From Left to Right: Neil "Obi Wan Kanobi" Jarboe, Mike "Luke Sykwalker" Krass, and Tony "Lando Callirisimo" Macias (cuz let's be real, Tony's got the moves to back up the name)
"You won't see tired reruns of 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids' on Turkey TV," said producer Mike Krass in a public media address at Kentucky's famed Covington International Airport. "The viewing public will instead be exposed to worlds unknown to them. Imagine discovery channel's Planet Earth, but not anything like that at all."
With that in mind, Turkey TV's talented young team prepared their gear for Derby weekend. Equipment included an Olympus digital camera, half gallon of Jim Beam's famous Kentucky Bourbon, and numerous sets of water moccasins from Big Lots!
"You can never underestimate the value of bringing the right gear," said Kentucky native and Derby veteran Neil Jarboe. "One year, the hooligans in the infield tipped over all the portable toilets and began fighting in the midst of the muck. Can you believe that? A poop fight!"
For those of you unfamiliar with the Kentucky Derby, it is essentially the most American event around: 100,000 people descend upon Churchill Downs with copious amounts of Bourbon, over sized hats, and all the most honorable intentions to lose their first (and hell, probably their second) mortgage on a 50-to-1 horse (eat your heart out mind that bird!)
Americana!!
To get coverage that no other station could produce, Turkey TV's producer flew a red eye from Spokane, WA, to Cincinatti, OH. Landing at 7:15 a.m., Krass immediately got to work at Covington Airport's world renowned Mike & Erma's Pub, gathering insider Derby tips from dog-racing expert Claire Hallows and discovering the true values the Derby is founded on from Ron Black, Cincinnati native and current Guinness Book of Records holder for most screwdrivers drank between the hours of 8 am - 9 am (which rests at 7 not counting the 2 he guzzled from 9:00-9:09 before his 9:20 flight).
"You think I wanted to drink all those beers and talk shop with the least honorable, most likely to die of Cirrhosis of the liver Derby experts around?!" Krass demanded. "I'm hustling man, trying to produce the best content for Turkey TV. I'm chasing down leads like Rosie O'Donnell does funyuns that have fallen between the couch cushions."
As Krass was flying to Cincinnati, Macias & Jarboe got to work early the night before at Lexington's famed 2 Keys Tavern. When you find out what they did, please forward that information to Turkey TV via e-mail at: whatthehellhappenedtojarboe&macias@turkey.tv
Rising at the crack of 9 am to retrieve their keys and dignity from the tavern, Macias & Jarboe hopped in the official Mitsubishi Ninja news truck and headed to Covington to pick up their producer. Upon retrieving a slightly inebriated Krass, they headed to their most promising lead of the day in Taylorsville, Kentucky.
Bill Jarboe, long known for his days as Alex Trebek's personal algebra tutor, gave this Derby tip to Turkey TV in a live interview.
"Don't think -- Just throw money at things: horse bets, whiskey vendors, women in pretty hats. You can't lose if you can see straight."
After departing from Taylorsville, Turkey TV headed to L.A. (Louisville Area) and decided it would be a good idea to do the following (keep the 5th amendment in mind):
1. Purchase a case of beer through a drive through window from a nice Asian gentlemen named Carl.
2. Race to finish all the beers in the case.
3. Go to O'Shea's East (from the same creator of O'Shea's in Las Vegas), drink Bourbon(s), and potentially offend as many people as possible.
4. Continue the all-out media blitz and, with live footage, catch a gentlemen in the act of indecent exposure. This act will be punishable by pizza to the face.
5. Facilitate the fight against deadly cancer(s) by offering medical counseling on a 24-hour basis.
Needless to say, it was quite the productive night for the news team. Needing all the rest they could muster, Turkey TV decided to go to bed early and rise early in the morning for the Derby.
Saturday morning arrived fast and hard, and Turkey TV had one mission: to be the best damn TV station at Derby.
Since only Kentucky native Neil Jarboe knew anything about horse racing, Turkey TV decided it would be wise to go to an underground gambling den (complete with secret code knock entrance and smokey atmosphere) to view OCD-gamblers in the natural environment.
There were TV's everywhere, but no furniture for the occupants to sit on. The smoke was thick, and beer coozies littered the floor like dirt in a garden.
Turkey TV instantly regretted the decision to visit such an establishment and left for the race track.
It was sink or swim time. Turkey TV arrived at Derby and promptly walked through the front gate -- media credentials leading the way. First stop? A trip to grab a mint julip, as the team was quite parched from a lack of liquid substance.
Next, it's time to get to work: Turkey TV's committment to first-rate media coverage started with this man.
Guy: Which dogs are running in the race today?
Jarboe: Outta my face!
What most people don't realize is that aside from the horse races, the Derby infield is filled with Olympic-caliber sporting events.
We attempted to contact these members of the Kentucky National Wrestling Federation Club Team:
Gross people fighting in mud: Super Saver!
Jarboe: Yeah right what do you know..."
(at this point, the news team took out a third mortgage on a house Neil doesn't own/rent/even live in and put the money of Homeboykris, a 23:1 horse)
After, Turkey TV attempted to get a hold of members of the "Let's Run Across the Top of the PortaPotties and pretend we're doing hurdles team", but the news team could not stop laughing and they were busy getting arrested by the police as they made it to the end of the track.
Turkey TV did, however, use a lot of their 4th mortgage money they took out that weekend to purchase exclusive rights to this picture, which is a depiction of the aforementioned toilet runners.
Finally, the team decided that in the spirit of the Derby, they should participate in the fried turkey leg jousting events in the infield.
All in all, a productive weekend was had. On Sunday (the day after the Derby), Turkey TV was bought out by NBC Universal to the tune of 37 million greek drokbas, or the equivalent of $39 US.
They took the money, bought a trio of fried turkey legs and bourbon-cokes, and went to the Bellevista Casino & Resort in Indiana and haven't been seen since.
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